Category Archives: Dating Tips & Advice

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Interracial Dating: Tips for White Men and Black Women

While it is true that we are living in the 21st century and that things are not nearly as oppressive for interracial couples anymore, that doesn’t mean that there are no boundaries to cross. Interracial dating is not frowned upon per se, but interracial couples still draw an occasional long, surprised stare.

The recent rise in social justice warriors across the world has done little to alleviate the pressure from interracial dating. If nothing, the situation seems a bit more complex now than it had been at the beginning of the 2000s.

Plus, with the massive rise of social media, these days anyone can come out with an opinion, and the people running the “racial relations narrative” are usually ill-equipped to do so – making things worse than they are.

Still, we are not here to discuss race and racism in the 21st century. We’re here to discuss love in the 21st century.

Let’s talk about the issues couples that include a white man and a black woman face. This situation, as far as we can see, is far less about race and more about the differences in the cultural and social environments in which these two sides were raised in and were influenced by.

Since each person is different, no matter the race, we can’t really say that these tips are applicable 100% of the time and we would like to stress that we are painting in broad strokes here.

Decide if you are experimenting or you really like this person

This advice goes out to both sides. If, as a white man, you’ve only dated white girls so far and suddenly you start fancying a black lady, make sure you are not just being drawn in by the “exotic” and the “new”.

The same goes for black girls. It’s only natural that new experiences excite us more, and this excitement may lead us to dive headfirst into a relationship without really understanding our emotions.

Don’t get us wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying to date outside of your race for the sake of experimentation. There is nothing wrong with casually dating someone either. Just make sure that the other person doesn’t get too attached and your excitement for the relationship slowly dwindles down as the novelty of the relationship wears off.

Don’t change yourself to be liked

This is good dating advice all around, but it’s even more important in this situation. Due to the differences in your cultural and social upbringings, one or both of you might be tempted to emulate things you see in popular culture. This never works.

If you start emulating the other person’s culture and have very limited knowledge about it, you are not going to do very well, ending up being silly, awkward or even offensive. Talk about your differences, exchange experiences and you will surely, through conversation, find out more legitimate information about each other’s cultures, as well as each other as people.

Social and racial stereotypes may lead you to believe that a person is into something purely based on their race. For example, she is a black woman, therefore, she must be into R&B and Hip-Hop or he’s a white guy, he must love NFL and drive a Toyota Prius.

These might not even be good examples, but this is because stereotypes are unreliable and a person’s likes and dislikes are theirs alone – they don’t come as a part of a racial package.

The differences and expectations in dating approach

There seems to be a general consensus that white guys are a bit more timid in their approach compared to black guys. Being that men are traditionally the ones that initiate contact, this difference in the approach may cause some confusion.

White guys tend to be more subtle when approaching a woman (regardless of race) and they usually like to take things more slowly. They might not even call it “going on a date” – they may refer to it as a simple hang out, which can create confusion.

Still, if he is initiating all these hangouts, is interested in your day and your hangouts always include just the two of you, then you can be pretty sure that he is interested.

As far as advice for guys goes, we would leave you with a simple one – try to be more open with your intentions. Don’t lose your love interest just because your approach is a bit too convoluted for her taste. Don’t overdo it, but a simple compliment wouldn’t hurt – just to keep things clear.

Sure, there is the added pressure of a white guy approaching a black girl, and you need to tread carefully, but the healthiest way of looking at it is this – you’re just a guy approaching a woman who he finds attractive.

If you want to give this a shot without too much social pressure, you might want to consider using interracial dating sites so you can actually get to know each other first before having a first date.

interracial dating

The bedroom

When it comes to racial stereotyping, this one is probably the most prominent one for both sides. The stereotype is that black guys are more naturally endowed – we’ve all heard it.

Is it true? Who knows! Nobody took the time to go around with a measuring tape and find out the exact average of penis length in white guys and black guys and then compare the results.

For black girls, this situation might be a bit more simple. Regardless of a man’s race, you never know what he’s got in his pants until he, well, gets it out. It’s always a gamble and you shouldn’t let a stereotype stop you from finding out what making love to your white guy is really like – if it’s bad, it’s bad, but what if it’s good?

Plus, we mentioned that white guys tend to be a bit shy while dating, but this doesn’t apply to the bedroom.

For guys, well, get over yourself. If you are going to worry if a girl, any girl, had bigger guys then you, well, you’ll never get far with any woman. Relax, let your passion take over and have fun. Don’t start judging yourself before anything even happens.

This one is for both sides. Sex gets better over time! Sure, there are some exceptions where the first time you hook up is immediately amazing and it’s nothing but orgasms and passion. Still, the pressure of that first time may have an impact on the experience, even more so in this kind of situation. The more your intimacy grows, the better your sex life will be.

As a final note, you are not dating each other’s races, you are dating each other. Don’t let this become about race exclusively. You are just people that like each other. Have fun, respect each other‘s difference, have patience when overcoming them and don’t let an outside influence get in the way of the chemistry the two of you have developed.

dating with herpes

7 Facts That Make Dating With Herpes Easier

For many people, dating is a challenging thing to do, even without an STD such as herpes. Genital herpes makes it even harder. Many people with this STD stay away from dating because they fear failure, embarrassment, or being rejected often. Even with no experience in dating with an STD, people tend to form their assumptions that make it even harder for them to enjoy dating once again.

The thing is that it doesn’t necessarily have to be this way. There are things that you can do and learn to make dating exciting once again. In our efforts to help you overcome this challenge, we have compiled a list of 7 facts that make dating with herpes easier.

Every Sixt Person Has It

You are not all alone in the world with herpes. We know that you might feel that way once you learn your diagnosis. The most important thing to know is that every sixth person has genital herpes. We are not trying to tell you that you should start feeling better because there are so many people with genital herpes.

What you can learn from this is that people are aware of this STD. With so many infected out there the chances are that everyone knows at least one person in their social circles who has it. You are not alone in it, and it shouldn’t discourage you from dating again.

Judgment is Very Common

You are not the first nor the last person who has been judged by others for getting infected with genital herpes. Most likely, you will experience this judgment being cast on you. It’s important to give your best not to identify yourself with your disease. You are not it.

If you experience any problems with this, we suggest that you seek professional counsel. It will help you work on your issues, sort things out, and regain the courage to face the real world and all that comes with it. More importantly, you will become more aware of your predicament, acknowledge your delicate situation, and regain self-confidence.

Finding a Date is Easy

One more thing that can possibly be on your mind is “I won’t be able to find a date, ever.” It is completely understandable to be in this mood. Dealing with a genital herpes diagnosis can be very hard, let alone think about dating now that you are infected. But don’t forget that we live in 2018 and that the world is so much more forgiving today than it was just a few decades ago.

People have managed to remove the stigma related to being infected with STD. Today there are dating websites specifically developed for people who are infected with STDs, including the ones with genital herpes. Upon registration on one of these websites, you will be able to find, chat with and date other people with STDs.

herpes dating online

Finding a Date is Convenient

We live in the era of smartphones. To help people with STDs feel normal and experience dating, as usual, some companies have developed dating apps for mobile devices. If you feel estranged and alone, these apps can help you establish communication with other people who are infected with STDs and are interested in dating.

This can significantly improve your quality of life and help you regain self-confidence. You will be able to chat with your date candidates on the go, for example, while commuting or on a launch break. Finding a date has never been more convenient than it is today. It might be useful for you to know that these herpes dating sites are available for both iOS and Android phones.

PositiveSingles is such an app. Their mobile app is a nice extension to their dating website that specializes in bringing together people with STDs. They have more than 10,000 daily active users and over 100,000 daily conversations.

The Best Time To Disclose your Diagnosis

One of the most common questions asked by people who have genital herpes is “When is the best time to disclose my diagnosis to my date?” If you decide to give online dating a go, you will have to disclose your diagnosis while you are registering your account.

While, at the start, this might appear way too intrusive, soon you’ll figure out that everyone on the platform had to do it. And that people still want to talk to you and go out on a date with you, even if they know that you have genital herpes.

If you decide to go “old school” dating, there are some general guidelines to follow when it comes to the most appropriate time to disclose your diagnosis to your date. For instance, you shouldn’t tell your date that you have an STD right on the first date.

Before you come out, wait for until there’s at least some connection between the two of you. But don’t wait for too long, as it’s important to disclose this information before you two have sex.

You Can Reduce The Risk To Spread Herpes

There are many people with genital herpes without any interest in dating because they think that they can spread herpes to others. We have to be honest here and say that this is a very legitimate concern. Being aware of this fact can help you become more responsible, but it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t enjoy the pleasures of sex ever again.

If you have been diagnosed with genital herpes, you are probably on some sort of therapy. You should talk with your doctor to make sure that you are receiving suppressive therapy. This is therapy significantly lowers the risk of herpes transmission. In combination with condoms, even during oral sex, suppressive therapy gives the best results and reduces the transmission risks to a minimum.

Information Helps

The last item on our list is – staying informed. Reading a lot about genital herpes will help you understand your disease, and learn how to minimize the risk of transmission. More importantly, you will become more confident and be ready to answer any questions your partner has after you come out and tell them you have genital herpes.

There you have it – 7 facts that will help you start dating even after being diagnosed with herpes. Hopefully, this information helps you and gives you the courage to go out there and find the love of your life. As you can see, it’s possible even with an STD.

How to Establish If Your Blind Date Is Worth Your Time

Since the 21st century changed relationships in a few aspects, you have to be ready to take a risk to find true love. Blind dates are very popular, so you have to get used to it. Most of us have had a few failed relationships but you don’t have to waste your time anymore.

There are a lot of things you can do to establish if your blind date is worth your time. If you are ready to leave your comfort zone and try something new and wacky, you are in the right place.

In the past 15 years, people are able to find partners from all over the world thanks to modern technology and easy ways of communication. The Internet provides a lot of information about different people so it’s even easier to meet interesting people like you. Apart from social media, there are a lot of dating sites for finding a soulmate.

Blind Date

Looks like finding a partner has never been easier. You can find different types of partner according to your standards, but that doesn’t guarantee that you won’t burn yourself a couple of times. Going out on a blind date is always exciting if you relax and try to be yourself.

A lot of dates won’t turn out as you expected, but we can try to help you out with the following tips. We hope that this is going to be helpful. Don’t waste your time if you don’t have to.

Choose someone to set you up instead of finding a date on social media

Social media is the most popular way to find a blind date. That’s fun, but a better way is to ask someone to set you up. Your friends know you the best so they can find someone who matches your character. Your best friends are always there for you so they know what’s good for you and what kind of partner you’d like. If you are surrounded by a lot of friends – it’s even easier.

Keep asking for help

Don’t be ashamed to ask a friend to set you up with someone. It’s probably very hard to find a partner in your circle of friends, but friends of a friend can help you for sure. Don’t be prejudiced, a lot of people are doing this. Don’t feel miserable or anxious.

The fact that you’re ready to fall in love with your blind date doesn’t mean that you can’t find someone without help. Every person is beautiful and special in their own way and everyone is trying to find a partner this way or another. If your friends want to set you up with someone, it only means that you are special to them. Remember that any kind of help is welcome.

The advantage of social media and dating apps

If you choose to find a blind date on social media, that’s also OK. But please try to find out everything about your potential date before meeting with them. Everyone can hide his or her identity under a perfect picture on social media.

Everyone hides behind happiness and perfection that you can see on social media. There is no person who will post a picture that represents insecurity or negativity.

The advantage of social media is that you can search and investigate activities of your blind date. You can also check if you have mutual friends who can help you find some information about your blind date. Dating apps have also become a big part of our lives and can be a good way to find someone with similar interests.

Of course, you can compare profiles and interests on different social media apps. But don’t be scared, not everyone is ready to scam you. We are sure that person of your dreams is out there waiting. One more piece of advice – don’t stalk.

talk and listen between partners

Ask your date to talk about himself and listen

The best way to get to know each other is talking. Good communication is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship. Be open about whether you are ready to build a strong relationship from the beginning.

Don’t be afraid to ask personal questions. Try to talk about everyday life, music, books, art or TV shows, but avoid topics such as politics, religion or anything negative. You don’t want to eliminate your blind date because of issues that are too complex for a short date. Instead of being boring, ask open-ended questions and let them search for an answer.

Talk about your weekend activities, important people in your life, about what makes you laugh and what makes you sad, about your dreams and the future. Just be sure to listen more than you talk because you want to show yourself in the best light.

Here’s the kind of questions you can ask

Try to be honest and ask literally everything you care about but also be ready to answer their questions. Avoid talking about previous relationships and don’t compare yourself with your partner’s ex-lovers. Don’t expect anything, time will tell. The less you expect, the less disappointed you will be if something goes wrong.

Ask questions like: ‘’What are your life goals?’’, ‘’What kind of activities makes you happy?’’, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask and talk about their childhood, family, and friends. Also, ask questions about kids and raising a family if you are interested in such things.

Raise your standards

You must be clear about what you are looking for in a relationship. If your personalities are compatible, you don’t have to be afraid. Get ready for a blind date and be yourself if you want to leave a good impression.

Do you have the same interests?

If the answer is yes, then you are on the right path. We’re sure that you think that physical appearance is the most important, but it’s not. First of all, your blind date must have the same or similar interests as you do. You have to imagine a future with your potential partner. Try to make a list of your partner’s interests and check what meets your standards.

A list of positive and negative traits can help you with the selection. Write everything down that is on your mind, it will help you to see the situation more realistically. If there are more positive traits, your blind date deserves to meet you again.

Even if you don’t have a lot in common you might share some core values

On the other hand, if you and your date have no common interests but have the same core values, give it a shot. Your interests can change in the future. Try to remember your taste in music and books from a few years ago. We’re sure that you have changed a lot. It’s important that you have common interests, but it’s even more important that you want the same things.

For example, if both of you like dogs, hiking or a specific sport, or if you both enjoy cooking or art, you have a foundation for building a deeper relationship. The most important thing is that you can spend quality time together. Don’t worry about differences.

If your taste in music, books, TV shows and movies is different, don’t be afraid because you can complement each other. Be ready to accept your partner as they are. You won’t be able to change the things you don’t like about someone. And we are sure that you don’t want someone to change your personality.

couple by lake

Chemistry is something that you can’t feel before a date

Don’t get disappointed if you can’t feel anything. Be yourself and don’t panic. Feelings will come if it’s meant to be. Even if you think that you’ve met someone by talking on the phone or chatting, that’s not possible.

Real emotions and chemistry will appear after you meet each other in reality. You just have to stay positive and leave your insecurities and fears behind. Don’t give up before you are sure that someone does not comply with the picture of your perfect partner.

Look for good manners

No one can express kind manners and good behavior via phone. When you meet in real life, you will see if your partner fits you. Don’t be selfish and let them express their feelings. Don’t expect a romance or a story with a happy ending after the first date. Fairytales are not for brave people like you.

The chemistry will improve over time. Good manners and a respectful attitude can light up that spark you are looking for. Energy and that magnetic force of attractiveness will arrive after a while. It’s very important to prepare a foundation for an open conversation on your next date. You will know what to talk about if you reveal a lot of details. When you get to know each other, the feelings will just appear.

If you decide that you can’t build a relationship with your blind date, that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a one night stand or become friends. A lot of couples used to be friends for many years before they went on a first date. Don’t discard that option.

Encourage your blind date to be honest

Only if you are totally honest about yourself, can you expect the same from your partner. Building a healthy relationship is a long process so you have to start without lies. Try to make your actions match your words. If you talk about yourself totally honestly, your partner will do the same. You have to build trust from the beginning if you want to maintain honesty in the future.

If you talk about yourself with a lot of self-esteem, you might scare off your future partner. You don’t want to exaggerate either. Encourage your potential partner to talk about himself openly. Don’t talk about commitment and deep feelings because it’s too soon. Let it all happen gradually.

If you are sure that your blind date is honest, you can meet them with no worries.

Don’t tolerate jealousy

One more thing, if you spot a sparkle of jealousy, just run away. We are sure that you deserve a healthy and meaningful relationship. Don’t ignore jealous behavior because it can become only worse. If someone is interested in your ex-lovers and same-sex friends a lot right off the bat, imagine what can happen later.

If you are a friendly person always surrounded with friends, explain that on your first date. It’s not okay to lose your friends because of a relationship. It’s not worth it. Also, you can’t be jealous and you can’t ask someone to reject friends because of you. A relationship based on control and power is unhealthy. Keep that in your mind!

The dating scene is big and colorful so just get out there

When you are ready, you can relax and start the relationship of your dreams. There are no rules, you can find the love of your life behind the corner. Don’t limit yourself and be sure that even if your partner is different from you, that doesn’t mean that he or she can’t fit you perfectly. Boost your mood and try something new – hookup on a dating app, choose an exciting location for the date or meet someone from out of town.

You can’t experience something new if you don’t try it. Be resilient and brave because finding a good blind date is not easy. Don’t be discouraged if you fail a few times. There’s someone for everyone, just be persistent. Be sure to find a nice public place for your meeting and enjoy. Blind dates can be the perfect way to jumpstart an awesome relationship.

We’re keeping our fingers crossed! Good luck!

Top 4 Dating Tips for Your Love Life

If you’re looking for a legitimate relationship, or even just a summer/winter fling, you may be in need of a few dating tips that will completely transform your love life and the way you view dating because, let’s be honest, relationships nowadays seem to be even harder than they were before. Below, you’ll find a list of these tips.

TOP 1: Look Beyond the Bar

It’s always nice to stand at the bar, lean over a little bit, and have the man next to you offer you a drink. The thing is that many people are content with being hit on and expect to find their perfect match at the other end of a rum and coke. The truth is, though, that you can find love in pretty much any setting; so, you shouldn’t close your eyes to what’s right in front of you. Pay attention to the cashier at the grocery store, the man or woman you bump into on the street, etc. You can even let your friends set you up! While this is often frowned upon because sometimes blind dates are especially ineffective, you never know what could happen so just go for it. Worse comes to worse, it’ll make for a really funny story.

Essentially, you shouldn’t let yourself get into a rut. If you’re always looking for men at the same place, you’re likely to find the same types of men as well and there’s probably a reason why it didn’t work out with the last one, right?

TOP 2: Consider Dating Your Friends

Like the aforementioned statement, you never know what’s right in front of you. We often overlook people because they’re just friends, also known as the “friendzone” but some of the absolute best relationships begin from a place of friendship. Besides, dating your friend means that you’ll be dating someone who already knows about your past experiences, your family, etc. You don’t have to go through the “getting to know each other” phase.

TOP 3: Make a Good First Impression

It’s well known that a first impression is absolutely everything. You can decide if you want to be with a person or if you’re compatible with him or her from the first twelve minutes of your date. This means that you should stay away from your phone, keep eye contact, and interact with the person sitting across from you. Also, you need to make sure that you’re actually into a person or else putting effort into a perfect date will be rather useless.

TOP 4: Don’t Overshare

This can be especially hard when you feel comfortable with someone. They’ll ask about your family and you’ll want to spill all of the gory details but be sure not to do this because it can really put the other person off and give them negative vibes.

Conclusion

Whether it’s oversharing or dating a friend, be sure to step out of your current comfort zone if you’re trying to put yourself out there. It could be that you’ve fallen into a rut and if that’s the case, just try something new. Don’t go to the bar on a Thursday night; instead, try going to a cafe and talk to the person who sits next to you. You never know where your life will go.